me

Hello Again…

Hi everyone!!

It’s been a while. It’s been a LONG while. And a lot has changed in the many months I have been out of touch. I am a new person. And I love this person. But before I get ahead of myself, let me give you the 411 on what has happened and what is still happening:

I am still in school (EW) hence the lack of blog posts, BUT I only have 5 weeks left.*insert praise hands* But who’s counting!? School is about the only thing that is still the same in my life.

I think the last thing I posted talked about how I had quit yoga, well I started back up again and then quit again…but for a real reason this time! I was about to go on a vacation and I put on my swim suits and that was the defining moment that changed my life. Dramatic? Obviously. But the truth? Absolutely! I was SO shocked with how the girl in front of me looked and never wanted to see her again. From that moment on I decided I HAD to change. I was approaching 200 lbs and had essentially let myself completely go. I was eating like CRAP, I got sick 3 times this winter and I never get sick, so I was clearly also unhealthy. I was already back at yoga at that point, but that wasn’t going to cut it. I went on a very strict diet the month before my vacation because I’ll be damned if I was a whale amongst fish on that beach. I went to yoga three times a week and cut out carbs almost all together. I lost 15 lbs in one month. And I did it the healthy way, I promise! I just had that much to lose simply from eating healthy. That was the first big change.

So I went on vacation, had an amazing time, got tan, ate some good food, then came back ready to work. Unfortunately I can’t afford a yoga membership and a gym membership, so I quit yoga and signed up for my first ever gym membership!!!! I was so nervous but also super excited to see what was to come. I went from the girl who lived off of Mac and cheese, pizza and fried chicken, to the girl that checked the nutrition facts on EVERYTHING before buying or consuming any food and worrying about when I was going to be able to make it to the gym nex. That was the second big change.

It has been almost 3 months since the “diet” started. (I hate the word diet cause it has the connotation that it is temporary…this healthy eating, healthy living, is not something I plan on quitting.) It has been about 6 weeks since I have been in the gym. Add it has been 4 weeks since I started my new job!! That’s right….I now work in a law office, doing what I said I always wanted to do!! It’s a funny story really. I was bored at work one day and and took legit like 15 minutes and sent out 4 resumes. I still don’t remember where l sent them. Indeed, LinkedIn, google and maybe like LegalAid. I can’t even remember. Next thing you know, I get a call (while im at the gym…cause I WORK OUT!) and it is a woman asking me to come interview for a position. I was like uhhhhh…..sure!? (Ok so I actually thought about it for a couple hours. Leaving Timken was the hardest choice I’ve had to make in a while!)

Anyways, I went to the interview and was hoping to hate it, so that I wouldn’t have to make the decision whether to leave Timken or not. But I didn’t hate it. It was small, pretty and seemed like the perfect starting paralegal/legal assistant job. So…I had to take it! I made that decision over a month ago. I work at a law firm….THAT’S FREAKING CRAZY!!! Literally 8 years in the making and now I can actually say I am on the journey to my future career! So wild!

Ok,I know I said that was going to be short, but I guess there was a lot to catch up on. Life is absolutely great! It is truly amazing how different I feel after choosing to live healthier, take care of myself and choose positivity every day. I have found myself smiling for absolutely no reason at all. Don’t get me wrong, bad days still happen! But my relationship has been at an all time high, my overall self happiness has skyrocketed. I find reason to smile more often. I have become so secure and confident in my life it’s fantastic. I am not perfect, nor is my life. But I truly feel like I have reached such a high in life!

I have so many people to thank for that. If you’re reading, let me shout you out real quick: to my Hot Momma Judy at work who inspired me to eat healthy and stay healthy once I made that decision. I hope I’m half as bangin’ as she is when I’m a mom! To my brother at work who called me a bowl of mashed potatoes (best inside joke ever) but has been there to encourage me and also make me look great by never successfully giving up carbs himself hehe! To my sister who hypes me up whenever she get the chance. To my little brother who has always been my biggest fan. To my college/high school/old job/family friends who keep me accountable but who also remind me I’m beautiful and tell me what im doing is inspiring and that they’re so proud of me for it. And last but not least, for my boyfriend, who has ALWAYS told me I was beautiful no matter what I looked like. Who still loves me even though I never cook for myself cause I live off meat and cheese, fruits and veggies while he still gets to eat pizza 😦 and who encourages me and reminds me that it’s ok not to be the strongest person at the gym because everyone has to start somewhere. I love you.

It’s been quite the turn around for me. I used to be so negative. I was that girl that could sit and bitch and complain about anything and everything in my life. Now I can’t stand negative energy. I have no space for drama. And I have no problem letting things go. Like I said, I’ll never be perfect, nor will my life. But this thing I got goin on right now, I’m totally ok with it 🙂

Xoxo,

Mo

Photo depicts only a few of the many smiles over the past few months ❤

Advertisements
friends, Love, Uncategorized

To the Best Friend that Never Lasted…

I’ve seen these all over Facebook, so I decided I would do my own. Here goes:

Dear Best Friend,

     I miss you. There truly was a time when I thought we would stay friends forever. We would be in each other’s wedding. Our kids would grow up playing together and be best friends just like us. We would have book club together- sip on some wine and gossip together about our old friends and where they ended up. A lot of things would have changed in our lives, but not our friendship.

     I envisioned us going off to college and then getting into trouble over the summers in between. Or if we didn’t meet until college, I saw us partying all the time on the weekends and making hilarious memories that we would never forget. We would truly live for the nights that we can’t remember with the people that we won’t forget. And we did. We did that. But then the whole growing up and changing thing got in the way. You were more concerned with partying and meeting new men when I was starting a new relationship and trying to grow up. Or maybe I was too busy focusing on my new relationship that I let us die. Maybe I let issues of the past or insecurities creep up and never got over some things. We realized we each had different priorities and stopped making sure we included each other . Or maybe neither one of us did anything wrong, we just grew…apart.

     You have a new best friend now. She stole my title. I feel like the jealous ex-girlfriend who is wondering what she has that I didn’t. Why she is worth your time and and I wasn’t? Sounds silly, really. But I guess that’s what happens when someone finds a best friend. You love them like a sister, fight with them like a boyfriend and stick up for them like they’re family. So it sucks waking up and realizing that you’re not that person anymore. I will never have a chance of being your maid of honor. We will never go on a double date with our husbands. I won’t have you to call when I find out I’m pregnant. You won’t bring me over ice cream when i’m having a bad day. I will never vacation to florida with you with our kids. There are so many nevers, but I wish you well, still.

     No matter what happened or where we are now, I wish you the best. We probably had a fight or fell out somehow, but I still wish I was there for you. I still wish we could go back to those college weekends and play beer pong together on more time. I wish we could have one more bonfire or jump in the lake late one summer night. Most importantly I wish I could still call you or text you at any time and know you would answer. It’s hard not having that one person to call randomly and vent to or someone to text anything that pops into your mind. I wish there was still the prospect of our kids knowing each other and building a bond that we once had…but that’s not real anymore.

     One day you were a huge part of my life and I never knew what I would do without you. Now I’ve been without you for years and I’ve survived, but it still sucks. If you’re reading this and you know you used to be best friend at one point (Lord knows there’s a lot of you cause I never seemed to be able to keep a “best friend”), I want to take this time to apologize for any pain I may have caused you. I want to let you know that the times I had with you were truly some of the best. I want you to know that I still think about our memories and laugh to myself. I still tell our stories to people that I am friends with now. And if I was the reason we grew apart, I wish I hadn’t. If the reason we stopped talking was because I was bad at keeping in touch, I believe it, and I’m sorry. If you used to be my best friend, I love you. You will always have a spot in my heart and if you were ever in trouble and you called on me, I wouldn’t hesitate to be there. I hope your life is everything you dreamed of and more. If I was only meant to be a small part of it, then I’m honored to have at least gotten that much. You’re beautiful and strong and don’t let anyone tell you you’re not. Maybe one day our paths with cross again. So maybe it’s not that we never lasted; maybe it’s just a gap in our story…only time will tell.

Xoxo,

Mo