My car is nicer and newer. I make more money. My house is bigger. My clothes are designer. I don’t shop there cause it’s too cheap. I would never wear that. I would never go to that neighborhood….
Ever heard anyone say any of those things? Ever said those things yourself? Have you ever even thought those things? Maybe you know someone who acts that way without even saying those words. I think we can say yes to at least one of those questions. And that’s maybe not “ok”, but it’s human. It’s almost impossible to go through life with such tunnel vision that you don’t even notice the people around you. And sometimes when you notice other people you might look at where you are and where they are and compare yourself. Maybe it’s not an issue for you. Maybe it’s a huge issue for you. For me, I don’t struggle with thinking “I’m better than them,” I struggle with thinking “they are better than me…”
I compare myself to just about everyone. It’s a huge weakness I have. I compare my apartment to other people’s. I compare what kind of car I have and what my friends drive. I compare how my hair or makeup looks with other girls. I compare my relationships with other people’s. I absolutely compare my body with all those Instagram models out there. It’s terrible!! For someone who already struggles with self worth, insecurities and self confidence, it makes every single day a mental battle. Very rarely do I look at anyone and think, “well I have this and they don’t and therefore I’m better….” If anything I look at someone and think “wow, why am I not like that??”
I think I struggle with jealousy as well and that’s where comparing comes into play. I feel like some people don’t have to work as hard as I do and they get better things in their life. Someone who has a better car than me or someone who goes on all kinds of trips. All things that I would love to be able to do, but can’t. And I feel like…why are they better at life than me?? Clearly they’re doing something I’m not to be so far ahead of me!! But jealousy is a whole other topic I can touch on at a later date. Right now I’m just trying to explain what it’s like for someone like me to see everything that everyone else has and for me to never see myself as “better than” them. And that can be just as dangerous to someone’s psyche as thinking they are better than anyone else.
I can walk into a room and scan the room for other females and hope to not find any attractive ones for fear that they are prettier than me or have a better body than me and HEAVEN FORBID my boyfriend notice them and think they’re better than me and what to be with them not me. See how quickly that escalated? I wish I was being dramatic, but those are my real thoughts. I can look at a girl my age in stylish clothes and think, “why the heck can’t I put myself together like that?” I get jealous of my 70 year old boss’s style!!! (Ok so it’s a running joke that’s she’s 70…she’s really only 50-something, but she is the most fabulous grandma I have ever met!)
I guess I do somewhat struggle with thinking I’m a tad better than people cause I can look at someone at work every day and think “Ooo they shouldn’t have worn that…that looks terrible!” or “They look like they haven’t washed their hair all week…” and then see the car they drive and think, “How in the world do they drive THAT and I drive THIS?” Sometimes my little blue Ford Focus doesn’t look as sweet next to a brand new Audi…
It’s totally impossible to go through your life and never once compare yourself to someone else, whether it be negatively towards them or yourself! But what IS possible is going through life and knowing your worth. Knowing that your struggle is no better or worse than anyone else’s. Knowing that we are all individuals that have come from different backgrounds and going different places. We were all made to be younique. Comparing yourself to someone is like trying to figure out which snowflake you like the best: they’re all beautiful in their own way and every single one of them is different. As I’ve been going through this life of mine for 24 years and struggled with comparing what I have to what the guy/girl next door has, I have learned this: people aren’t better than anyone else, they’re just different…with different goals, different paths and different priorities. Stay humble and own the path you choose, whatever that may be.